This week I was feeling heavy, frazzled, singed, and tired. I really had to focus on staying grounded and I had zero capacity for extra.
Last week my dad went in the booth 3 times in 4 days, and he is still raving about how much he feels it impacted him. This week the shop was slow, so I found time for 2 15-minute sessions.
There's a weight between the top of my skull and my jaw line with points through the nasal cavity. When I'm tired it weighs on my eyes. It connects to the twisting in my "assessment" and sometimes I can trace sensations from this place to my toes - but I have to be incredibly still and actively looking at what is happening in my body.
In the booth I am not still. On one of the days I felt so heavy I lay on the ground, my heart felt like ooze as it processed some big emotions that were jolted into my Sunday evening. Even when laying, my legs were moving in the air, my arms were moving, my neck and face were moving. My eyes were closed and I stretched and flexed while seeking balance between my physical sides. I followed sensation and pain and I cracked and popped as I considered how to fully activate the muscles integrated within my hip system. With vulnerability, it dredged up a lot of tears, and I had a serious sob with my therapist on Friday.
The weight in my head is related to the tears I hold. There aren't enough good places to cry the tears that live there though I am often seeking it. It's funny how we hold these emotions in our physical symptoms. Have you ever asked the place of your body that tangibly feels pain what emotion it's feeling? It is such an important part of every healing journey.
Overall, 2 booth sessions this week helped me stay light and mostly (semi?) unbothered by some unnecessary chaos that was interjected into my plans for the week. I'm sitting here stretching now for the first time since my last session, and some pain I can feel along the inside of my right knee had some "bubbling" feeling and some release in the tension that it usually carries. My hip and my ankle are looking to find the point of misalignment so they can adjust accordingly, and generally alleviate the pain they are also carrying. A lot of this comes up against my lower spine. It's a fluidly feeling and I need to figure out which soft tissue needs to be shifted to support the posture, while drawing a new neuro pathway to that area to remind it that this is how it's supposed to flow, vs how it's been stuck/trapped for the last many years.
I just had to take several deep breaths, because I'm stretching in-between sentences. My eyes closed and i found a hypopressive stance and took a full cavity inhale. The twisting in my internal cavity has opened up so much since I started with The Booth. I think it's the salt inhalation helping my muscles remember from the inside. Most of my work in repaving the neuo-pathways that are twisted is based on outside in visualization. There's a bit of skeletal system that flashes in, but usually I work externally, so this internal perspective has been a curious breakthrough for me. With more awareness and room in the internal cavity, there's more space for me to make adjustments in other pivotal points along the various body meridians.
I also gained some really curious insight on what's happening along my bladder meridian. I'm one of those moms that isn't flying perfect colours with post birth peeing things, so finding the root of what pings a particular bladder sensation is a huge win for me.
I have a big cramp in my right abdomen now that a lot of things have been cracked and shifted in my legs - it's there often because it's a pivot point in the twist. It has been actively moving in coordination with the area of my spine that sits between my shoulder blades, similar to where my bra strap would sit, is being crunchy. It's like rocks are falling off a mountain because a waterfall is erupting and washing the dust away. It has helped new sensation to come to light around my right glut and if I activate the glut in the right way it takes away from the pain of the cramp.
I definitely feel like there has been a positive response in my body from the two Booth sessions this week, again because of how it helped with uplifting me emotionally, and also because of how it's helping my body be loose enough to make these adjustments in my stretches. Normally I wouldn't feel like this unless I had seen a practitioner in the previous couple of days.
Full disclosure, I am going to see my physio on Wednesday. At that appointment I'll be asking for for visceral manipulation in the abdomen, specifically around my liver and the area that the pain is. She does this nerve sensation check that helps her look for area of focus but I'll also be commenting on my bladder and my diaphragm. This complicates this blog as being a ra ra use the booth vibe, because it's not just the booth involved in my journey - but tbh I prefer a ra ra use the modality that your body and your heart respond to vibe. Whatever you need is what you need and only you and your body can figure that out (and but also professionals can really help).
So I am going to bed now, I have some more integration stretching to do. I am feeling super limber in being able to dive into some of the fascial stuff that's stuck.
Thanks for reading my journey.
Lots of Love
Tigris